Canyons, crowds, and concession stands… Wisconsin Dells reminded me that sometimes even the “must-see” spots are better seen once.
Wisconsin Dells had all the makings of a highlight — sculpted sandstone cliffs, winding river canyons, and the promise of adventure. But reality checked in fast. Two days of overpriced everything, endless crowds, and a campground that made us flee to a hotel later, I realized the Dells might be the biggest tourist trap north of Orlando.
Day 4 – The Upper Dells and Witches Gulch
We started with the Upper Dells Boat Tour, which is the only way to reach Witches Gulch, the spot I’d been most excited to see. Gliding along the Wisconsin River, the sandstone cliffs rose in layers like ancient pages, carved by wind, water, and time.
At Witches Gulch, a wooden boardwalk leads you through narrow, mossy walls and dripping stone corridors that look straight out of a fairy tale, or maybe a fantasy RPG. It’s cool, damp, and strangely hushed, the kind of place that makes you lower your voice without knowing why. While Witches Gulch was really beautiful, the fact that it’s been privatized and commercialized took away the magic. You’re herded along the trail with a short time limit, an overpriced concession stand waiting at the end, and all those people from the boat crammed along the same narrow path with the same countdown clock. It’s hard to feel awe when you’re shoulder to shoulder trying to stay on schedule.
The second stop on the Upper Dells Tour was Stand Rock, a narrow sandstone pillar with a big claim to fame. In 1886, photographer H.H. Bennett made history here when he captured a stop-action photograph of his son, Ashley Bennett, leaping the five-foot chasm between cliffs. Using his own invention, “The Snapper,” one of the first true stop-action shutters, he froze that moment in time and changed photography forever. The image not only launched the Dells into fame but also made Bennett the man who quite literally put the town on the map.
Today, the tradition lives on with a local dog making the same leap to the crowd’s delight. The handler gives the signal, the dog bounds across, the crowd gasps, and yes, I clapped, because sometimes even the most touristy moments still manage to feel timeless.
Afterward, we wandered into The Grateful Shed, a chaotic indoor food truck venue complete with graffiti, hanging buses, and neon lights. It was fun to see, not fun to eat in. We ended up across the street for something quieter, because after a day of boats, cliffs, and crowds, peace felt like the best thing on the menu.
Day 5 – Mirror Lake and Lower Dells
The next morning, we set out to find the nature side of Wisconsin Dells, fewer wristbands, more woods.
We hiked the Ishnala and Echo Rocks Trail at Mirror Lake State Park, where the highlight was one sorta memorable rock formation and what felt like a hundred types of mushrooms. The forest floor was damp and alive, the kind of place where you start looking down more than up.
Later, we tackled the Chapel Gorge Trail, which promised river views but mostly delivered more mushrooms and a bazillion mosquitoes. It was okay, but bring bug spray. Lots of it.
To round things out, we boarded the Lower Dells Boat Tour, a shorter trip with more quirky formations and storytelling stops. It was interesting, though after two days of tours, cliffs, and crowds, I was ready to move on.
Travel Notes
- Lodging: Originally camped (regret), switched to a hotel
- Upper Dells Boat Tour: ~$35 per adult – access to Witches Gulch and Stand Rock
- Lower Dells Boat Tour: ~$25 per adult – shorter, more narration-focused
- Combo tickets: If you bought more than one tour (like the Upper and Lower Dells together), there was a discount, which is why we ended up doing both
- Hikes: Mirror Lake SP – Ishnala and Echo Rocks Trail, Chapel Gorge Trail
- Parking: Easy and free at most trailheads and boat docks
- Pro Tip: Bring bug spray, patience, and a sense of humor
- Skip It: The main strip and the campground scene
Final Thoughts
Wisconsin Dells might be the “Waterpark Capital of the World,” but for me, the real treasures were the quiet corners, the ones most people drive past.
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